Feeling down tonight

I'm rarely ever sick; and when I am, I can't stand to be "down." So I just keep going. I feel I have a high tolerance to pain, having had all the kids with no pain meds, and a complete surgery under 2 mg of Valium....I can handle just about anything. I rarely take meds...just HATE them and am usually hyper sensitive to anything prescribed to me. (Thus the surgery with only 2 mg of Valium that knocked me out cold for days.) Besides, I can't slow down long enough to remember to take prescriptions. I'm just NOT a good patient. I know that. And I readily admit that.

So I'm really beside myself in a funk today!

Yesterday was a typical Monday with nothing out of the ordinary. Right in the middle of a meeting at work, out of no where, I broke out into a cold sweat, instantaneously followed by my life's all time worst migraine. It took over the entire left side of my head, left shoulder and neck, and completely blurred anything seen from my left eye. I couldn't turn my neck side to side, couldn't see clearly and had difficulty focusing mentally. I went home in tears.

I took aspirin, advil, tylenol and midrin over the following 6 hours, none of which would relieve the pain. Finally I gave in and used my Zomig, which I HATE because of the taste and "fuzzy fog" feeling it leaves in my head for several hours. But I was even willing to deal with that to get rid of this pain. I took it and went to bed. But that didn't work either.

I was up and down all night long, alternating advil, tylenol and aspirin, trying to knock off enough of an edge to sleep it off. I finally fell asleep sometime after 2:30am only to wake up again at 6am with my neck in SEVERE PAIN, still unable to turn my head side to side. I called the doctor this morning with complaints of "neck and head pain worse than being hit by a tractor trailer while in child birth" and "need something, anything, to make this stop!"
"Oh, and can you call it in really quickly so I can get to work on time?" (Ok, so even in excruciating pain, I still don't like to be slowed down!)

I ended up in the doctor's office getting the "down and dirty" spill about stress, aging, hormones, migraines, and all the things I don't do to take care of myself. ~sigh~ Then she asked THE question. And I was prepared for it and willing to do ANYTHING to stop the pain. So I said "Yes, I'll take the Imitrex injection."
Hey, I'm a nurse. I know the warnings...it's supposed to "sting and burn and may cause a flushing sensation." OK, so bring it on; it can't be worse than this headache! NOT!

OMG! I will NEVER again warn any of my patients that "This is going to sting." Instead, I will warn, "This is gonna hurt like a SOB and most likely be far worse than any headache or toothache you've ever experienced!" I have NEVER in my life had such a painful medical intervention! Stitches without lidocaine done with a dull needle would be more humane! There was a moment of relief in my neck and head because the nerves in my arm were in overdrive, shooting thousands of SOS messages to my brain!

And the "flushing sensation"? Well, tell me how in the heck one can tell if she is hot, cold or indifferent when you're praying for your arm to fall off?? The nurse cautioned, "Please stay still here for at least 15 minutes. You may feel a little flushed. Are you ok?" I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, "NO! I'm not ok! I came in here to get help for the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. And you had to go TOP that pain with a new record worst pain of my life?!? How in the heck SHOULD I feel right now?!?! Is there a Dr. Kevorkian in the building to put me out of my misery?!?"

But I didn't. Instead, I sat there fighting back the tears and mumbled under my breath, "I'm fine. Just fine." What more can I say? (Besides, if this doesn't work, who knows what inhumane torture they'll shoot me with next?!?!)

After about 20 minutes, the headache part of the migraine eased a bit. The vision in my left eye cleared up. And I was finally able to turn my head side to side a little bit. It felt like I would imagine a bad car accident with a major hangover would feel...banged up, bruised up and nauseous.

But I was able to get myself home and was feeling better....
for about an hour. Then it came back as suddenly, and as furociously, as it did yesterday.

And I caved...I called the doc again and was willing to do it all over again just to make the pain stop! Am I a pitiful woose or what?

Anyways, I'm now scheduled for a CT scan in the morning.
I'll keep y'all posted as to how it goes.