The Source of my Migraine

The source of my migraine is now the source of nausea and stress. I now feel SICK! My stomach is churning. My nerves are shot. And my emotions finally caught up with me this afternoon. I just want to lay in the floor and cry!

After 11 straight days with a migraine and a swollen left cheekbone, multiple medications that wouldn't touch it, CT scans that appear normal, multiple trips to the hospital and physician, and still no answers, I finally made an appointment with a local chiropractor.

I went this afternoon and starting immediately venting to the poor guy:
As a nurse, I'm not even sure I believe in chiropractic. But I do know that attempts at treating the symptoms have been futile and have made me irritable, cranky and impatient. I'm sick and tired of the pain, sick and tired of not knowing what's causing it, and sick and tired of meds. I don't do meds well, never have, don't want to take them and usually don't need them. I've taken more meds in the past 2-3 wks than I've taken in my entire life.

Now listen to me carefully. I do NOT want any more meds, nor any more checks on my head, my brain or anything else up here. It seems to be fine outside of hurting like heck. I made a dentist appt for Monday morning to check for TMJ; that may be it or not. But there is a direct correlation between the intensity of the pain and an imaginary line between the base of my skull to my left ear, to my left cheekbone and then behind my left eye, where a ballping hammer sits, pounding away at my brain in a rhythm that comes and goes between 3/4 time and 7/8 time throughout my day, being most rapid between 2am and 3am, waking me up every single solitary night. I can even HEAR the pounding behind my left eye with my left ear in the middle of the night! Either fix this imaginary line and the hammer I feel and hear, which appears to me to be the source of this pain, or tell me I'm delusional so I can get a psychiatrist! I can't take this anymore!"

Dr. C: Well, since you've apparently ruled out anything in the head but pain, can we try an xray of your neck?
Me: Sure.

He took the xray. The assistant looked at it, had a bizarre look on her face, excused herself and then went to get the doc again. The doc comes in, looks at the xray, looks at me and says, "OMG, you are in some serious pain, aren't you?"
Me: Yeah, that's what I've been saying for a couple of weeks now. Why, what does it show?
Doc: Well, I'm sure it's a shadow or the machine malfunctioning. No reason to worry. We're just going to take a few more images.
Me: Ok (starting to pray, Dear God, please let this be a mistake; whatever it is that they're seeing is starting to make my gut churn...please let it be a mistake.)

More xrays....with head up, chin down, sideways, forward, backwards, with mouth open, mouth shut, etc.

The assistant went back to the darkroom. She wouldn't look at me when she came out of it.

The doc went in and with a somber face finally looked over at me and said, "I don't want to alarm you, but we're not going to be able to treat you here today; but we're going to get a specialist to look over this. So let's not get alarmed, ok? I want you to stay calm and step over here and let me explain what I'm seeing here."

My stomach churned and turned while my head spun around in circles. (Or at least that's what I FELT my body doing. I just KNEW I was going to be sick before I ever made those 6 steps over to that xray light.)

Before he ever even opened his mouth or moved his pen to point to the xray, I looked up at it and my mind started racing. I thought, "NO WAY! There's been a mistake! This can't be! I wouldn't be standing here talking to you about this if that xray was correct! I wouldn't have been at work today or yesterday or for the past few weeks if that xray was really MY neck! I know it hurts to move my head; but dang it, I can still move it! This can't be!"

Then the doc interrupted my thoughts with "Have you had a recent trauma, a severe blow to the head, anything that might have broken your neck right here?" as he pointed to where my atlas (the first cervical vertebra that the skull rotates and moves on) was SUPPOSED to be.

It was GONE! The danged thing was missing! There's a hole there where it SHOULD be! Then he showed me the lateral (from the side) xray with my head tilted downwards. There it was, my little atlas bone, broken off and sitting up there at the back of my head, against the base of my skull. My neck is broken! The atlas looks broken in half, has moved and is sitting where there isn't SUPPOSED to be a bone!

I don't know how I did it or when. I don't even know what we're going to do about it. The chiropractor wants to call in a specialist and wants to see me again tomorrow morning. I THINK he said something about a neuro consult and an MRI. But I'm not really sure because I did exactly what he told me NOT to do...I got alarmed. My thoughts were racing. Images of all the past spinal cord patients I've ever had when working neuro trauma soared through my mind. Cranial nerves, transmittors, motor function, sensory functions, risks, side effects, brain stems, halos, fusions, rods, screws..........it was all jumbling up in my head at warp speeds.

I found myself in the car, calling my DH to tell him, "I have to come back tomorrow."
DH: So soon? Why?
Me: I don't know? Because this appointment card says so?

It took me several seconds to gather my thoughts enough to even tell him how the xray looked. The rest of the afternoon has become a blur.

I'll try to update y'all tomorrow after the appointment. Until then, will y'all please keep me in your prayers?

((((((hugs))))))