The BAD problem

I got the call on a Friday morning, on my way out the door to work. The source of my "migraine" was BAD, both literally and as an acronym. BAD=Brain Aneurysm Disorder

I went through the entire circle of emotions: disbelief, shock, fear, anger, and a few others that I can't even identify. As a nurse, I knew the bottom line to all this: Aneurysms kill. And too many times they don't even give a notice. I've seen it too many times in my career; it ruptures bringing a single scream of pain, and then drops you dead. And many that live through it have lifelong neuro deficits rendering them permanently disabled.

So what was my main issue with this diagnosis? Well, I'm not afraid of death; I know my soul is sealed in God's Book of Life. But I was angry and upset because I don't have time for death right now. And I don't have the patience for a disability. There is too much that I need to do. And what would happen to my family if I died or was disabled? My DH doesn't even know where I keep the checkbook. I have two precious teenage girls at home who still need me as they grow up into dating, college, and womanhood. I still have so much to teach them and share with them. There's still so much I want them to know.

And then there's my house. Geez, I have three quilts that still are not completed. I still haven't gotten my Spring cleaning done for this year. And OMG, with death or illness, that means people from church and work will be coming to my house and will see all the things I haven't finished! And what about my office? Somebody at work will be using or going through my office; and it's a mess. I have 5 projects on my desk I didn't get finished and a stack of paperwork that I never got filed last month! Geez, what will people think?!?

And with these thoughts came other questions like:
Is my Will up to date? Hmmmm, haven't looked at it in 5 years :(
Are my Advance Directives and Durable Power of Attorney up to date? Nope, haven't looked at those in almost 10 years :(
Geeez, how did I get so far behind?!?

So I made myself a "To Do List" and started working on it. Looking back on it, it's really both sad and funny the thoughts I had at such a time. But I'm learning to prioritize again.

Lesson Learned: Take a day each year to sit down with your spouse and/or family to review for the "what ifs" of life. Update your Will, Advance Directives and Durable Power of Attorney and make sure your doctor has a copy on file. It's important for folks to know what to do, how to do it, where to find things and how you feel about things.

Here are a few of my lists for my family and myself.
The first two I did for my DH. The Love-Hate List was prompted when he kept asking me a dozen questions and complaining that he really didn't know enough about me to take care of me in the hospital. He was worried about things like "I know you like mayo on sandwiches, but would I put mustard on your hamburger? I can't even remember!" I couldn't convince him that I really don't care about having or not having mustard. So I told him I'd make him a list of my 10 most important likes and dislikes. Thus, the following scrap below.


Kit used: "Grandma's Kitchen" from Tina Williams

I gave DH the next scrap page in an attempt to convince him that I KNOW he loves me. I swear, he took this harder than I did. He wasn't even sleeping at night. Instead, he'd stay up all night, standing guard over me, "just in case" I needed something. He was so pitiful! I actually made this page a month or two ago but felt it was so appropriate to give him before this surgery came down. I made a page for each of the girls and grandsons too. But I'll upload and post those later.


"Life's Journey" kit from Cafe Digi and Alpha from RetroDiva's "Naturally" kit.

Here's my "To Do List" scrap, using Teriann Hanks' "Summer Farewell" kit. As you can see, much of what I THOUGHT I needed to do, didn't get done. *LOL*