A few more updates from an emotional day

I didn't sleep well at all last night. I TRIED what he told me to do, propping up all the pillows and keeping my chin forward. Then I couldn't fall asleep. When I finally did, I pushed all the pillows off and woke up crying in pain around 2:30pm (just like clockwork) and found myself laying on my left side with my arm tucked up under my head. That explains the pain worsening at night. I'm putting myself in the worst possible position in my sleep, even when I prop myself up and block myself in with pillows. :(

I returned for my appointment this morning to find that he had called an ortho surgeon for consultation, in addition to the neuro & MRI. After some discussion and better description of the "blow" that would have had to occur to cause this kind of injury, we determined that I most likely did it on our front deck last year when I fell up the stairs, chin first. He described it to a tee.....head-on heavy weight, blunt force into the chin or jaw area, quick snap of the head backwards, pain in the left ear/jaw area accompanied by a crack or popping noise, probably heard on the left side of the head.

Yep, that's exactly what happened that day!

Doc: "Do you remember hearing a pop or crack at that time?"

Me: Yes, but I had already given myself a black eye on the bathroom door a few days before, and cut my foot up by slipping at the pool, and was on my way to Codah's recital and was running late. I tripped coming up the stairs and fell chin first into the next level of decking. I remember hearing a pop in my left ear, feeling excruciating pain in my jaw, and thinking "Great, now I've jammed my jaw through my eardrum!" But then I could hear from my left ear and thought, "Well, I must not have damaged my ear because I'm still able to hear." It never occurred to me that I might have broken my neck!

Doc: Did you go to the ER to get an xray?

Me: No, I was late to my DD's recital. I went on to that and then came home and took some ibuprofen. I did go to my doctor and dentist a few days later. But I didn't think to tell either of them about any noises I heard during the fall. The dentist xrayed my jaw. They messed around with my jaw and checked my ears and said all looked ok. So I never thought anything else about it.

He didn't even have to say the next one, but he did:
"You should have gone immediately to the ER that night."
That realization had already hit me square in the head.

Anyways, for today, he hooked me up to some electrical stimulation, along with some ice/massage therapy to try to ease the pain. It seems to have worked fairly well on my head. I can't honestly say I still have a headache. It's more like a "fullness" around my ears. The ringing in my ears remains. But the pain in my neck and left temple, along that imaginary line, went from a scale of 8/10 to 4/10 and held steady for almost 6 hours today! Those few hours are the best I've felt in a few weeks now! :)

DH is pretty freaked out. In fact, he's more than freaked...he's impossible right now! He gave the doc the third degree today with a slew of questions, concerns, fears and angst. He has somehow gotten himself on this guilt trip and rants "I should have MADE you go to the ER that night! I KNEW better! I should have taken you myself! Don't you realize that only 50% of people with this injury even survive the blow?!? I see this stuff at work....." (blah, blah, blah, blah)

Me: I don't want to hear this! I KNOW what could have happened! I don't need you reminding me!
DH: Well, I'm scared!
Me: And you think *I* am NOT?!?!
DH: What if you fall or get bumped in the head before this gets fixed?!? Do you realize what can happen?!?

I finally lost it while he was ranting and yelled "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS!" The doc, (God bless his soul and patience level) finally, and sternly, cautioned DH with, "We can all see what happened that night and know what COULD have happened. And she's obviously aware of the risks and challenges. But she's been stable this long and walking around and working like this. So let's just assume that she's hard-headed enough to stay stable while we work through this. There's no sense in worrying about what MIGHT happen at this point. What's done is done. Now, let's just move on from here. It's completely possible, in light of the fact that nothing worse has happened up to this point, that we will get this bone stabilized without further trauma. But you two need to stop beating up on yourselves."

We calmed down for a bit until DH started insisting on sitting next to me and rubbing my back while I was on the machine....and he kept talking. And I kept turning over to tell him to stop. The doc finally said to DH, "I'll make you a deal. You can sit here with her IF you promise NOT to open your mouth. But IF you DO say ONE word while she's on this machine, you're out in the hall for the rest of the day!"

He finally got quiet and stayed quiet...at least until the machine turned off. Then he jumped up and said, "Don't worry honey, I'll go get the doctor" and went running out of the room. I wasn't worried about being on the machine. But apparently he was? Or maybe it was just about to kill him to be quiet that long?!? *LOL*

Monday morning I go to see the ortho surgeon and for a neuro consult. DH now insists on going with me. He says he "needs to" take care of me since he didn't MAKE me go to the hospital the night I fell. I've tried explaining to him at least a dozen times that he couldn't (nor can he) MAKE me do anything. If I had been lying there incapacitated, yes, I would expect him to take me to a hospital. But when I am able to stand up and say, "I feel like I'm ok", then it's not HIS responsibility to do anything except just "be there" for me.

But I don't think "Mr. Fix It" is able to do just that. He has to be doing something. So does anybody out there have anything that he can do that will keep him busy until I get through this mess?