Smoking vs. Cursing

Yesterday afternoon DH wanted to go to the casino to play. Of course, such a trip doesn't count unless I go with him, regardless of me having a cold and trying to catch up on laundry and house cleaning. But being the good compromising wife that I am, I went and tried to have a good time.

I still don't know how this trip constitutes "couple" time in his mind since the only time we have together is the ride there and the ride back. When we arrive, he heads straight for the "middle of the road" machines. I, on the other hand, can't stand to lose or waste my hard-earned cash, so I head to the nickle machines....much safer and for less than $25 bucks I can usually play all day and into the evening until DH runs out of cash.

Now to preface my experience yesterday, I smoke. I try to be a respectful smoker, and use the smoking areas of the casino for that reason. I'm also usually a nice person, even at my worst. I see no reason to be rude and ugly and feel cursing is simply a show of limited vocabulary and communication skills. I try to be polite and respectful, even with strangers. But I must caution that yesterday I was not feeling good, had a sore throat and cold symptoms and just wanted to be left alone.

So I headed to a nickle machine on an end in a row where only 3 other ladies were sitting. I hate crowds. I had been sitting there for well over 2 hours, sipping my iced tea, smoking a few cigarettes, and playing on the same $20 I put into the machine when I sat down at it. Then it happened.....a most disrespectful male, about 50 years old, sat down at the machine next to me. First, he bumped into my chair as he sat down and didn't even acknowledge doing so with an apology.

There were LOTS of other machines available and lots of other seats too. I really can't understand why he felt the need to go to THAT machine at THAT moment and then act so rudely. I didn't want him sitting there to begin with; I just wanted to be left alone. But we aren't always allowed to choose who sits next to us in public, are we?

Within the first 2-3 games he played, he began cursing at the machine, with his two favorite words being the two that will set my blood to boiling on a normal day. I HATE hearing cursing, especially in public. I hate taking my children out and having them subjected to such disrespect and ugliness. And I hate being subjected to it myself, especially the two words, GD and MF. After putting up with it for several minutes, I finally decided that "after I finish smoking this cigarette" I'll cash out and go find another machine. Up until this time, no words had been shared between us.....until....he decided to speak first!

With my next drag, the man stomped his foot and waved his hand in the air and the man growled at me: "You need to put out that GD cigarette and stop that smoking! Your smoke is bothering me; and I want you to stop!"

Me: Well your cursing is bothering me; and I want you to stop.
Man: I don't have to stop nothing! This is a free country and I can say anthing I F'ing wanna say!
Me: And this is a smoking area, so I'll smoke in it if I want. If you don't like smoke, then I suggest you try the non-smoking casino next door.
Man: No I won't, because people like you shouldn't be allowed anywhere....you're affecting my health and well-being....there are laws against that!
Me: And your cursing is raising my blood pressure which affects my health, so cut that crap out!
Man: Go to hell!
(Ok, NOW I'm starting to lose it!)
Me: My smoking keeps me from going back there. My therapist tells me to light a cigarette when I feel like decapitating another man...it calms my nerves to keep me from going postal again.

Now usually, I don't think fast on my feet when I'm angry. But for some reason, he struck a nerve so deep that it must have sent a neuron in my brain that I never even realized existed before now into overdrive. Of course, that neuron might have been fired up by the song that started playing on the overhead speakers at that very moment too....."Hotel California."

I lit a cigarette in both hands and started smoking double-fisted, and commented: "Great song! Reminds me of the old days before I started smoking to curb my anger and all that uncontrollable physical violence that it brought forth from me."

I started singing "Hotel California" and puffing away from a cigarette in each hand between verses! The man just glared at me. The more he glared, the more I smoked and louder I sang. A lady behind me started singing with me after commenting, "Oh yeah, sistah, I'm there with ya!" Then another lady started singing! I was beginning to worry that I was sitting in a Lorena Bobbitt support group of schizophrenics who had just escalated beyond return! Or was it the dizziness I was feeling from smoking too many cigarettes too fast?!?

Regardless, it must have been enough to raise concerns in the man's pea-brain because he quickly cashed out, mumbled another obscenity and then left the area. After he left, I found I had made two new friends, Fran and Betty. Both introduced themselves, gave me a pat on the back and laughed so hard they excused themselves to go to the ladies room. They said it was the most fun they'd had in a casino in years!

Had there not been a non-smoking casino on the premises and had he not be so rude, I would have readily moved my cigarette or put it out had he asked me to do so. But if you're going to ask me to stop doing something that bothers or insults you, then you should at least be polite about it! And if you're going to sit next to me and talk, the least you can do is use appropriate language. To do less than that seems to bring out the worst in me!