An Evening in the Hospital

I've now been several days without a migraine. The only thing that lingered, as of this morning, was the ringing in my ears and a slight headache around my left ear. I did my time on the traction this morning and went on to work.

At lunchtime, an RN friend of mine asked, "Are you going back to the doctor today?" I told her no, I'm done for the week. She commented that maybe I should call the doctor and get checked because while we were sitting at lunch, my left temple and cheek started swelling up and "You now have a substantial sized knot running along your cheekbone back into your hairline." I got up and went to the bathroom to look into a mirror and about fainted!

I had grown what looked like an extra thumb across my cheekbone; and my temple looked like a small plum had crawled under my skin.
So my friend drove me back to get my car, while I was on my cell calling the doctor. I was told it sounded like temporal arteritis and to get into the office and get it checked.

I got in my car and went straight to the doctor's office. By the time I got there, my head was pounding again and my face was swelling up around my left eye. I had tried to call the office back to tell them I was enroute and getting worse. But their danged "at lunch" message was on; and I couldn't get past the front desk. I was an emotional wreck by the time I got into the office.

I got in there to be told by the wicked little receptionist that I didn't have an appointment.
Me: I don't care. I called earlier and was told to come right in.
WWW(Wicked Witch of the West): Well, you don't have an appointment and can't get to you today. You'll have to come back tomorrow.
Me: LOOK AT MY FACE! Do you see this temple?!? This is NOT a good sign! Now go tell the doc or his nurse that I'm here. I've already talked to them. They knew I was coming.
WWW: You'll have to come back tomorrow. They're already behind today. And there is nothing written on your chart about you coming in. You should have called.
Me: I DID CALL! I even tried to call back again while I was driving but your...
WWW: No, you did NOT call because this phone hasn't rang in the past half hour.
Me: I KNOW! Because you put the stupid thing on the lunch message after I talked to the nurse the first time!
WWW: Would you like me to try to schedule you in tomorrow or not?
Me: NO! I'll drive myself to the ER and will bill YOU for it! Tomorrow, the only reason I'll be back is to pick up my records to change doctors and to explain to my doctor why YOU have just cost him my business!

I left the office FUMING and drove myself across the street to the ER where a nurse immediately got me in with a gorgeous young doc who immediately commented, "WOW! Looks like you have a bad case of temporal arteritis there; sit down here and let's get on this."
They called for STAT labs, drew enough blood to do a transfusion, and had me lie down to await the results. The doc cautioned me with "We may need a rheumatologist and neurologist on this....may have to start some meds here.....gotta get that swelling down....that's soft tissue, not fluid...gotta watch your eyes...are you having any visual changes, blah, blah, blah."
I figured all that. And I watched my eyes in my rearview mirror the entire drive from work. I KNOW what this COULD mean. But I expected to hear all this from MY FP doctor who I couldn't even get close to because of the WWW!

Then I started thinking again, and questioned the ER doc....
"Hey, are you checking for enzymes?"
Doc: Yes, we're on it.
Me: What about my Sed rate?
Doc: Got it
Me: Do you think maybe my RDW vs MCV ratio might...
Doc: Stop worrying! We're checking it
Me: What about RNA? If it's my immune system, maybe my WBCs....
Doc: Yes, I KNOW. We're testing it.
Me: Oh. Ok. I guess you'll know when the labs come back?
Doc: Yes, that's usually when we find out *LOL*
Me: But then to know for sure, that means the neuro will want to biopsy the artery, won't he? Should I call my husband?
Doc: He might. But will you PLEASE stop worrying?!?
Me: You don't understand; I'm never sick! I'm a clutz; I trip, fall, run into doors, get hit by drunk drivers, need stitches, need xrays. But I'm never SICK! This last month of doctors, tests, more doctors, more tests, etc is about to send me over the edge!

(OK, so I'm not the most patient patient in the world! ~sigh~)
I know that poor man (the ER doc) must have dropped to his knees to thank God I was gone when I left!

But he remained very patient and kind on the outside, regardless of the frustration he must have been feeling on the inside. And he was honest about my results. He sat down next to me, went over every single test and then said, "I don't understand this and really have no idea why your face is swelling. Your vital signs, blood tests, etc, show you to be a perfectly healthy young woman with no abnormalities nor irregularities on any test we've run."
He even gave me a copy of my tests to check them myself. I'm a smoker; and my O2 Sat was 99%! I was madder than fire when I got to the ER and my BP was only 116/70, respirations 16 and heart rate 80! (And that's after literally stomping up the hill from my car and into the ER!) My MRI and CT are perfectly normal.

But my left cheek/eye/temple area still looks deformed!
The only thing I could get out of my mouth was, "Are you SURE these are MY test results?!? My smoking and temper alone should have done more damage than THIS! OMG! This looks like I'm 25 again!"

Anyways, I was sent home with orders for more anti-inflamatories for the swelling and yet another referral for another specialist, "just in case."

Maybe my "just in case" doctor can figure out what in the heck is going on?!? In the interim, I wait...again! But tomorrow morning I'm seriously going to pull our records and move them back to my previous doctor who moved about a year ago. We may have to drive an extra half hour. But I won't be given the run around that I've gotten today.

Just another update

WOW! What a week! I haven't had a week like this in years. There was lots of chaos at work. And on the way home one evening, an hysterical woman ran out in front of my car. I ran off the road to avoid hitting her only to find that she was screaming about an overturned vehicle and trapped woman up ahead of us. I, along with another ER nurse on his way to work, pulled the woman from the van and had a heck of a time with the scene while waiting for what seemed like forever for EMS and police to arrive.

And I'm supposed to avoid stress?!?! They could lock me in a room so stress couldn't find me and the building would catch on fire! I swear, trauma and chaos follows me almost as closely as Murphy's Law! ~sigh~

The freedom from my headache lasted until mid-morning on Wednesday. I slept SO GOOD Tuesday night after I finally fell asleep!! I ended up taking a benadryl capsule to try to knock the edge off the tinnitis because the ringing just doesn't seem to want to give! But once I fell asleep, I slept like a baby! :)

When the headache returned, it returned for about 24 hrs as a true headache, rather than a migraine. I can deal with that. But then the following night, the intensity started rising again. And I ended up getting up 4 times during the night to run to the bathroom for all the typical stomach flu symptoms. I really don't know if these symptoms were connected to the migraine, or just me coming down with a virus? But I go back to the chiropractor this morning. So I'm hoping I can get some relief at least for the rest of the weekend because I really need the rest! Next week, I have 2 doctors appointments and a couple of PT sessions. Hopefully, they won't make my neck sore.

I dropped by my dermatologist's office this week for my follow-up and have now been once again released from her care, for the THIRD flipping time this year! The biopsy came back negative for cancer. And this time it wasn't pre-cancer nor a mole. The biopsy showed a virus! I can't remember the name of it and had never heard of it before; but she said it's similar to a wart and nothing to worry about. I still have the "zapped" places that are still scaling and not completely healed yet, and had to have another "zapping" done, but she said I was good to go for one year unless I noticed anything new that concerned me before then :)

Work was a nightmare this week. Before it was over, I don't know who was in worse shape, the clients or the staff. We're all drained and exhausted! I don't think I had a single morning this week that my phones didn't start ringing before 7am; and the earliest I could get out of the building was around 7pm....until today. I packed it up and left at 4pm today because I couldn't take any more, couldn't even see straight, seriously! Around 3pm, everything turned blurry, I couldn't concentrate nor focus physically or emotionally. I felt like a zombie walking around my office trying to figure out what I was doing and where I should start next. I felt like I had been working several 20 hour shifts back to back and was ready to collapse.

I'm off to my appointment. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

Some improvements again today! :)

I returned to the chiropractor today and whined about how the migraine had let up for 5 hours only to return with a fury. The tinnitis (ringing in my ears) has increased by 2 octaves and is about to drive me insane! He assures me that with time, the migraine will let up for longer periods of time. And with more time, he states the traction and PT will help prevent it from returning. The tinnitis....well, sometimes he can eliminate that with the migraine. If not, I may have to see an ENT.

He popped me and cracked me, then hooked me up on more electrical stim with alternating heat/ice. I really don't understand this popping and cracking stuff that chiropractors do, but I have to give this guy credit.....he's a master! He didn't eliminate the tinnitis; but he did immediately bring it down a couple of octaves! And the migraine....well, it let up around 1030 this morning and as of 9pm tonight has still not returned!!! WOOO HOOO!!!!

I know, I KNOW! He warned me that it will wax and wane for a while and that I can NOT stop my exercises, traction or this stupid therapeutic pillow for several weeks. (Then of course, he's going to tell me that I need to do another dozen exercises to work on the rest of me. But I can live with that, just as long as this migraine goes away!)

But, I just wanted y'all to know:

I HAVE NO HEADACHE TONIGHT!!!! ***doing the happy dance***

Migraine Day 27 and Day 1 too?

WOW! This morning I woke up to Day 27 of the Migraine from Hell. I got up and dressed, checked my email, drank a couple of cups of coffee and headed off to yet another appointment. My orthopod had said that I could continue with my chiropractor, who was holding off any heavy-duty chiropractic until the MRI results returned. I walked in this morning with my MRI CD in hand and said "Let's do it...whatever, just get rid of this pain!" He checked my MRI and finally worked on my C1/C2 area. OMG!

First off, I have always been leery of chiropractors. The only reason I went to this one was because I was desperate....too much pain for too long and meds and physicians that couldn't eliminate it. The only reason I returned was for a similar reason; the migraine pain had moved into my left shoulder. He popped and cracked a few places, put me on elect stim, and VOILA, no more shoulder pain! But he wouldn't touch my upper neck without a release from the orthopod. So today was the day.

The messing around he did with the upper neck area wasn't comfortable, but it did seem to increase the range of motion in my neck. He warned me that "This is gonna hurt worse later because the left side of your neck feels like a steel rod." He then did more elect stim and ice/heat to my neck. I left there with NO pain whatsoever in my neck! Again on the way out, he warned me not to get my hopes up too high just yet because I'd be sore and that further treatment would be needed.

About 2pm this afternoon, the headache broke! For the first time in 27 days, I was pain-free! It felt SO GOOD...at least while it lasted. ~sigh~ I had a great 5 hours of relief until about 7pm. Then it came back :( I'm hoping this one doesn't last as long.

So does this remain day 27 of the current migraine or is it day 1 of a new migraine? Or is this just the soreness he warned me about kicking in?

MRI results are back! :)

I had my MRI Monday morning. What an experience!! I was blessed to have been tested in an "open MRI", so wasn't really claustrophobic. I was doing fine with it until the final moment when the tech did that last reminder:
"The knocking noise will now begin. Just relax, and remember do NOT move or we'll have to reschedule you and start over again. And most importantly, do not move your head, face, nor mouth."

The knocking started; this wasn't so bad. These machines are not half as noisy as the ones years ago. About 2 minutes into the test, I had a cramp in my big toe. Then my cheek starting itching. Then I felt an itch on my nose and in my ear. So I started thinking to myself:
"Don't move! I don't want to do this all over again. That's not really an itch. It's just all in my imagination. That toe isn't going to fall off during this test...just ignore it. BE STILL!"

I was doing pretty well with self-talk and self-soothing exercises until I felt a cough coming on. Then I had to get a little more serious with myself:
"OK, you are on a beach. There is a cool breeze blowing across your face. Just breathe. Don't waste that wonderful salty air by coughing. You're fine. You don't really need to cough. Suck it up and get over it! And do NOT move!"

Then I felt like I needed to sneeze. And my left eye start twitching. Then I heard the tech's voice across the speaker, "Hang in there and don't move. We're about halfway finished. Just a few more minutes."
But the sneeze-sensation was causing my nose to twitch in perfect rhythm with my eye. I swear, it felt like my entire face was going into convulsions!
So I had to REALLY come down on myself:
"STOP IT RIGHT THERE! DO NOT SNEEZE! You don't need to sneeze! Eyes, stop moving! Nose, cut that crap out! Face, I swear I'll slap ya silly when I get outta this thing if you dare twitch one more time! MY BRAIN IS IN CONTROL HERE! Brain, you tell 'em to ignore that sensation and stop twitching! C'mon now, send that message ASAP to the face!"

Then the machine stopped and the tech said, "Ok, you're finished. You did great!"

If she only knew! ~sigh~

Why is it that I can sit perfectly still until told "Don't move" and then everything on my body decides to get figity?!?!

I went back today to get the results. I have really been dreading this, not as much from fear of something being wrong, but more of a fear of total humiliation that he might say, "Geez, we don't know what's wrong with your brain and neck. This is the most bizarre test I've ever seen. Didn't they tell you to be still during this test? It looks as if you were dancing around on the table. We'll have to do it all over again!"

So I walked in this morning, took a deep breath, and waited for the word. And of course, he couldn't come in and immediately give me an answer. No, that would have been too easy. He waited, looked over the report, then the pics, read the chart, (took what felt like 30 minutes!) and then finally said:
"Everything looks great. We found nothing wrong that would require surgical or invasive intervention. In fact, we found nothing to report on the test, not even arthritis. You have a migraine that appears to be the result of stress, a little weakness in a muscle or two, and the effects of not taking care of yourself. We're recommending physical therapy and some traction for 6 weeks. I'm releasing you because you're in good hands with Dr. C and will be just fine. Continue taking the anti-inflamatories and see Dr. C again on Saturday."

So maybe that talk I had with my brain and face helped afterall?!? *LOL*

I'll let y'all know what this "physical therapy and traction" turns out to be. The only thing I could think of this afternoon was, "What are they going to do now? Hang me upside down?" I hope not; I don't need all the blood rushing to my brain. I'm just now getting the darned thing trained to listen to me! :)

Cranky this morning

I know I should be thankful. And I am. I'm thankful that my atlas has been diagnosed as NOT broken. The headache hasn't been in the top of my head for days now. For that I'm thankful. But the pain still remains like a bad toothache in the base of my skull, running around to my left ear and left cheek bone. What's causing this pain? I'm now sleeping well through most of the night. For that I'm thankful. But I'm still waking up between 5am and 6am feeling the pulsating pain beginning to rev up each morning. By 7am, I just want to rip my head off, and anybody else's who gets in my way or talks too loudly, regardless of which meds I start my day with.

I'm so very tired of treating symptoms. I want to treat the source of the problem! I just wish they could tell me what that is. And once they're able to do that, I just want them to tell me what I need to do to make it stop!

I started a diary about 2 weeks ago, logging what I eat, times the pain is worse or better, weather, sleep patterns, meds, etc. I was reviewing it this morning looking for trends. So far, nothing is popping out at me. I can find nothing remotely close to a trend. In fact, it's quite the opposite. If I try to graph any of this on an excel spreadsheet, the graph is all over the place!
It just doesn't make any sense!

As if all this isn't bad enough, I now have 3 stitches in my right shoulder. When I went in for my regular dermatologist check Thursday afternoon, she found a "nodule" that she said "I don't feel good about that one; let's remove that and get a biopsy." She also "zapped" 5 other places with the "air zapper" as my mother calls it. (It's really a freezing technique, done by spraying liquid nitrogen, to remove or prevent a mole or other skin condition from growing.) Usually, I'm sensitive to the "zapper" and hate the cold, stinging sensation it leaves. All this headache pain must have toughened me up or made me immune to other pain because with 5 places zapped, and one of them requiring 3 pretty long zaps, I never even flinched.

During that last one, (the extra long zaps), I even looked down and thought to myself, "Wow, that one should be hurting by now!" as she apologized with, "I'm sorry. I know this is uncomfortable. Just hang in there a few more minutes." I didn't even feel it! She apologized again during the biopsy, stating she had to cut deeper than anticipated to get it out. I never felt uncomfortable. In fact, I really can't recall feeling anything at all. Maybe she's just a great doctor!?! :)

I was to go back next week to have the stitches removed. But the appointments with her were conflicting with appointments for my head. They started scrambling around to get me in with her partner for the removal of the stitches, and I asked, "Can't I just take these out myself next week and run by for you to check me the following week? I'm really tired of seeing so many different doctors. I swear I'm developing an allergy to anybody with the letters MD or DO in their names." She chuckled and said, "Well, we don't want that. So yes, you may remove them yourself on Thursday or Friday. But drop by the middle of the next week for me to check it."

So that's the plan. And the plan for this morning is to see the Chirpractor and see if he can do something with my neck to get it aligned. Maybe that will help alleviate the pain?

I'll keep y'all posted. Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers and emails. I really do appreciate y'all! :)

Off to see the wizard

Well, not quite the "wizard" but yet another doctor. I have a follup-up with one and an assessment by another this afternoon. I slept better last night once I fell asleep. Maybe I was just exhausted? But I slept from around midnight until 6am without waking up. So I'm feeling "clearer" today.

School has been open for less than a week; and already we have our first casualty. Codah came home yesterday with complaints that her new clarinet, which we just bought last year to replace the one she inherited 5 yrs ago from her older sister, has a chipped mouthpiece. I told her "Awww, it's ok sweetie. We'll get you a new one. It's not like you broke the clarinet. I'm sure we can pick up a mouthpiece inexpensively somewhere."

Geeez, was I ever wrong! We looked online last night, and can't find the one she needs for less than $100! HOLY COW! I'll call the music store down by my office later this morning and see what they want for one.

Katelyn successfully had her schedule changed yesterday...by herself without our help! This is a BIG accomplishment! Katelyn has always, since birth, HATED crowds. So large classrooms with more than 15 or so kids really freak her out. There were 20+ kids in one of her classes. She calmly researched the situation and found that the same class, earlier in the morning had only 10 students in it. So she went to the counselor, explained the situation, and swapped out her afternoon class for an earlier morning class. Then she came home and told us afterwards! No calling us from school in a panic. No self-defeating complaints. I'm so proud of her! :)

Holding Steady

No new news today. I slept without meds last night; but it was becoming a real challenge around 5am when the pain started getting the best of me. It wasn't my entire head though, just from the base of my skull around and into my left ear. I finally got up and took a couple of Advil at 6am. That held me over until mid-afternoon.

The girls' first day of school was today. So far so good. Katelyn is still aggravated that she has to take yet another year of foreign language and complains that languages other than English shouldn't be mandatory for college. Hopefully, this will be her last year of French; and she can stop belly-aching about it.

Well, I must go fill out the mounds and mounds of school "parent signature needed" paperwork. Y'all have a great evening while I'm sitting here blistering my fingers with all these forms to be signed! *LOL*

Back where we started?

I slept through the night last night! It was the first time in over 14 nights. I woke up this morning with a headache, but not the severe migraine that I've had for the past couple of weeks. My neck and left shoulder were stiff and sore, but not pounding like usual. This was quite a blessing! So I skipped my meds this morning! (I know, I'm a glutten for punishment!)

My mother insisted on going to this appointment with me. She said she was sure everything would be ok because she had been praying all weekend. She said she needed to go with me; she felt sure of it. She said "Honey, I'm feeling good about this because it's not your time yet. God isn't finished with you yet. I feel like He needed to use you for something and needed your full attention; but He doesn't have time for you to really be down right now. So your doctors need to hurry this along."

Me: Ok Mom, you can go with me. But PLEASE just sit there and listen; and don't start rushing the docs, ok?

So we went for more tests together this morning. Then we went to see the orthopod in the afternoon together; he did more xrays. He said he couldn't find any fractures on his xrays today. Mom jumped up out of her chair and sighed "Praise the Lord!"
So I got up and looked myself. That danged atlas looked like it was back in place, right where it belonged. The ortho commented, "I'm not really sure what the other doctor thought he saw on his xrays, but these look ok....see the atlas is this top bone right here..." as he pointed at the C1 vertebra.

I stopped him mid-sentence and pointed myself:
Me: I KNOW which vertebra is the atlas! That one right there (pointing to C1) that was NOT there Friday and Saturday. I saw it with my own eyes on 4 different films and angles! He redid the xrays twice. My husband went back in with me again Saturday to see for himself. That bone was over THERE (pointing again) over the weekend; it was NOT HERE. (pointing back at my now normal looking atlas)

Orthopod: Well, it looks fine now. You may have a migraine? I'll send these xrays off to a radiologist in Atlanta to see what he thinks.

Me: That's what the other doc was doing. That's what landed me here. So now what?

He ordered an MRI for next week, just to be safe. If that, along with the radiology report, comes back ok, then I'll be released from all these specialists; and they'll go back to treating me for a migraine.

I didn't take my medicine this morning. I figured if the headache was tolerable, I'd just wait it out to see if I could get further than 3 hours out between doses today.
(Have I ever told you that I HATE taking meds and am the world's worst patient when it comes to meds?) For the past 14 days, it's been a struggle to hold off much past 2 hours. It's now bedtime; and I haven't taken any meds all day. I can still feel it, but it's bearable for the first time in two weeks. So I'm going to try sleeping without meds tonight and see if I can sleep through the night without them. If so, I think the worst is over; and Mom was right...there's just no other explanation for the past few days.

A few more updates from an emotional day

I didn't sleep well at all last night. I TRIED what he told me to do, propping up all the pillows and keeping my chin forward. Then I couldn't fall asleep. When I finally did, I pushed all the pillows off and woke up crying in pain around 2:30pm (just like clockwork) and found myself laying on my left side with my arm tucked up under my head. That explains the pain worsening at night. I'm putting myself in the worst possible position in my sleep, even when I prop myself up and block myself in with pillows. :(

I returned for my appointment this morning to find that he had called an ortho surgeon for consultation, in addition to the neuro & MRI. After some discussion and better description of the "blow" that would have had to occur to cause this kind of injury, we determined that I most likely did it on our front deck last year when I fell up the stairs, chin first. He described it to a tee.....head-on heavy weight, blunt force into the chin or jaw area, quick snap of the head backwards, pain in the left ear/jaw area accompanied by a crack or popping noise, probably heard on the left side of the head.

Yep, that's exactly what happened that day!

Doc: "Do you remember hearing a pop or crack at that time?"

Me: Yes, but I had already given myself a black eye on the bathroom door a few days before, and cut my foot up by slipping at the pool, and was on my way to Codah's recital and was running late. I tripped coming up the stairs and fell chin first into the next level of decking. I remember hearing a pop in my left ear, feeling excruciating pain in my jaw, and thinking "Great, now I've jammed my jaw through my eardrum!" But then I could hear from my left ear and thought, "Well, I must not have damaged my ear because I'm still able to hear." It never occurred to me that I might have broken my neck!

Doc: Did you go to the ER to get an xray?

Me: No, I was late to my DD's recital. I went on to that and then came home and took some ibuprofen. I did go to my doctor and dentist a few days later. But I didn't think to tell either of them about any noises I heard during the fall. The dentist xrayed my jaw. They messed around with my jaw and checked my ears and said all looked ok. So I never thought anything else about it.

He didn't even have to say the next one, but he did:
"You should have gone immediately to the ER that night."
That realization had already hit me square in the head.

Anyways, for today, he hooked me up to some electrical stimulation, along with some ice/massage therapy to try to ease the pain. It seems to have worked fairly well on my head. I can't honestly say I still have a headache. It's more like a "fullness" around my ears. The ringing in my ears remains. But the pain in my neck and left temple, along that imaginary line, went from a scale of 8/10 to 4/10 and held steady for almost 6 hours today! Those few hours are the best I've felt in a few weeks now! :)

DH is pretty freaked out. In fact, he's more than freaked...he's impossible right now! He gave the doc the third degree today with a slew of questions, concerns, fears and angst. He has somehow gotten himself on this guilt trip and rants "I should have MADE you go to the ER that night! I KNEW better! I should have taken you myself! Don't you realize that only 50% of people with this injury even survive the blow?!? I see this stuff at work....." (blah, blah, blah, blah)

Me: I don't want to hear this! I KNOW what could have happened! I don't need you reminding me!
DH: Well, I'm scared!
Me: And you think *I* am NOT?!?!
DH: What if you fall or get bumped in the head before this gets fixed?!? Do you realize what can happen?!?

I finally lost it while he was ranting and yelled "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS!" The doc, (God bless his soul and patience level) finally, and sternly, cautioned DH with, "We can all see what happened that night and know what COULD have happened. And she's obviously aware of the risks and challenges. But she's been stable this long and walking around and working like this. So let's just assume that she's hard-headed enough to stay stable while we work through this. There's no sense in worrying about what MIGHT happen at this point. What's done is done. Now, let's just move on from here. It's completely possible, in light of the fact that nothing worse has happened up to this point, that we will get this bone stabilized without further trauma. But you two need to stop beating up on yourselves."

We calmed down for a bit until DH started insisting on sitting next to me and rubbing my back while I was on the machine....and he kept talking. And I kept turning over to tell him to stop. The doc finally said to DH, "I'll make you a deal. You can sit here with her IF you promise NOT to open your mouth. But IF you DO say ONE word while she's on this machine, you're out in the hall for the rest of the day!"

He finally got quiet and stayed quiet...at least until the machine turned off. Then he jumped up and said, "Don't worry honey, I'll go get the doctor" and went running out of the room. I wasn't worried about being on the machine. But apparently he was? Or maybe it was just about to kill him to be quiet that long?!? *LOL*

Monday morning I go to see the ortho surgeon and for a neuro consult. DH now insists on going with me. He says he "needs to" take care of me since he didn't MAKE me go to the hospital the night I fell. I've tried explaining to him at least a dozen times that he couldn't (nor can he) MAKE me do anything. If I had been lying there incapacitated, yes, I would expect him to take me to a hospital. But when I am able to stand up and say, "I feel like I'm ok", then it's not HIS responsibility to do anything except just "be there" for me.

But I don't think "Mr. Fix It" is able to do just that. He has to be doing something. So does anybody out there have anything that he can do that will keep him busy until I get through this mess?

The Source of my Migraine

The source of my migraine is now the source of nausea and stress. I now feel SICK! My stomach is churning. My nerves are shot. And my emotions finally caught up with me this afternoon. I just want to lay in the floor and cry!

After 11 straight days with a migraine and a swollen left cheekbone, multiple medications that wouldn't touch it, CT scans that appear normal, multiple trips to the hospital and physician, and still no answers, I finally made an appointment with a local chiropractor.

I went this afternoon and starting immediately venting to the poor guy:
As a nurse, I'm not even sure I believe in chiropractic. But I do know that attempts at treating the symptoms have been futile and have made me irritable, cranky and impatient. I'm sick and tired of the pain, sick and tired of not knowing what's causing it, and sick and tired of meds. I don't do meds well, never have, don't want to take them and usually don't need them. I've taken more meds in the past 2-3 wks than I've taken in my entire life.

Now listen to me carefully. I do NOT want any more meds, nor any more checks on my head, my brain or anything else up here. It seems to be fine outside of hurting like heck. I made a dentist appt for Monday morning to check for TMJ; that may be it or not. But there is a direct correlation between the intensity of the pain and an imaginary line between the base of my skull to my left ear, to my left cheekbone and then behind my left eye, where a ballping hammer sits, pounding away at my brain in a rhythm that comes and goes between 3/4 time and 7/8 time throughout my day, being most rapid between 2am and 3am, waking me up every single solitary night. I can even HEAR the pounding behind my left eye with my left ear in the middle of the night! Either fix this imaginary line and the hammer I feel and hear, which appears to me to be the source of this pain, or tell me I'm delusional so I can get a psychiatrist! I can't take this anymore!"

Dr. C: Well, since you've apparently ruled out anything in the head but pain, can we try an xray of your neck?
Me: Sure.

He took the xray. The assistant looked at it, had a bizarre look on her face, excused herself and then went to get the doc again. The doc comes in, looks at the xray, looks at me and says, "OMG, you are in some serious pain, aren't you?"
Me: Yeah, that's what I've been saying for a couple of weeks now. Why, what does it show?
Doc: Well, I'm sure it's a shadow or the machine malfunctioning. No reason to worry. We're just going to take a few more images.
Me: Ok (starting to pray, Dear God, please let this be a mistake; whatever it is that they're seeing is starting to make my gut churn...please let it be a mistake.)

More xrays....with head up, chin down, sideways, forward, backwards, with mouth open, mouth shut, etc.

The assistant went back to the darkroom. She wouldn't look at me when she came out of it.

The doc went in and with a somber face finally looked over at me and said, "I don't want to alarm you, but we're not going to be able to treat you here today; but we're going to get a specialist to look over this. So let's not get alarmed, ok? I want you to stay calm and step over here and let me explain what I'm seeing here."

My stomach churned and turned while my head spun around in circles. (Or at least that's what I FELT my body doing. I just KNEW I was going to be sick before I ever made those 6 steps over to that xray light.)

Before he ever even opened his mouth or moved his pen to point to the xray, I looked up at it and my mind started racing. I thought, "NO WAY! There's been a mistake! This can't be! I wouldn't be standing here talking to you about this if that xray was correct! I wouldn't have been at work today or yesterday or for the past few weeks if that xray was really MY neck! I know it hurts to move my head; but dang it, I can still move it! This can't be!"

Then the doc interrupted my thoughts with "Have you had a recent trauma, a severe blow to the head, anything that might have broken your neck right here?" as he pointed to where my atlas (the first cervical vertebra that the skull rotates and moves on) was SUPPOSED to be.

It was GONE! The danged thing was missing! There's a hole there where it SHOULD be! Then he showed me the lateral (from the side) xray with my head tilted downwards. There it was, my little atlas bone, broken off and sitting up there at the back of my head, against the base of my skull. My neck is broken! The atlas looks broken in half, has moved and is sitting where there isn't SUPPOSED to be a bone!

I don't know how I did it or when. I don't even know what we're going to do about it. The chiropractor wants to call in a specialist and wants to see me again tomorrow morning. I THINK he said something about a neuro consult and an MRI. But I'm not really sure because I did exactly what he told me NOT to do...I got alarmed. My thoughts were racing. Images of all the past spinal cord patients I've ever had when working neuro trauma soared through my mind. Cranial nerves, transmittors, motor function, sensory functions, risks, side effects, brain stems, halos, fusions, rods, screws..........it was all jumbling up in my head at warp speeds.

I found myself in the car, calling my DH to tell him, "I have to come back tomorrow."
DH: So soon? Why?
Me: I don't know? Because this appointment card says so?

It took me several seconds to gather my thoughts enough to even tell him how the xray looked. The rest of the afternoon has become a blur.

I'll try to update y'all tomorrow after the appointment. Until then, will y'all please keep me in your prayers?

((((((hugs))))))